


Opiate

by immortalbears



Series: Stockholm Syndrome [4]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Addiction, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cowgirl Position, Kissing, Love/Hate, M/M, Outdoor Sex, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Relationship(s), Past Violence, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 08:26:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7610842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immortalbears/pseuds/immortalbears
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Locus may have forced Felix into a soulbond due a past mission, but both of them share the burden of being bonded to each other. Addicted to each other and unable to murder or get rid of each other, they will have to find a compromise; a common ground.</p><p>Will Felix ever accept Locus as his new partner, after the heinous acts that Locus has committed against Felix and Washington?</p><p>How will things work out between them, given how these soulbonds work? </p><p><i>Can</i> things even work out between them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Opiate

**Author's Note:**

> Contains past Washlix.

**Opiate**

 

Locus did not know of the concrete underpinnings of Soulbonding until he was irrevocably bonded to Felix.

 

Although Locus was the one who preferred to do his research so that he could plan things out impeccably, it was Felix who had known that what popular culture told people about bonding was complete rubbish.

 

It was hard not to fall for it. Popular culture worked in a way that not only misinformed, but also sensationalised, romanticised, and demonised. Entire decades of movies have portrayed a mental condition, Schizophrenia, as an entirely different condition than what it actually was; Dissociative Identity Disorder.

 

Popular culture showed only the dichotomy of heroes and the idea of villains, and it was the masses who largely, unquestioningly, or willfully, lapped it up.

  
There were many reasons for Felix's curiosity. When he took interest in something, however, nothing could stop him from getting in elbow deep.

 

Felix had gone to college, even though he had a way of saying things that would make people question whether he really did so. He didn't like to seem too smart, because he knew that people didn't trust clever people. Seeming dumb, naturally, made people underestimate him, which was infuriating but also could be utilised for his own benefits. He wasn't lying, however, when he said that he did not have a degree. Neither would he be lying when he said that he had gone to university.

 

Felix had been unable to get into medical or law school because his grades were not good enough, so he went into whichever faculty that would take him. He opted for the field of psychology, but lab work and statistics did not interest him. He eventually dropped out.

 

What he did pick up from his classes – and there were many of those, some of which he attended with morbid curiosity – were a refined ability to discern between appearances and actual reality. Felix, naturally, found himself being overwhelmed by sheer boredom from theoretical work and methodology that was useless outside of the laboratory.

 

There was a certain approach to methodology that was not actually boring, that required one to be resourceful.

 

Felix, from the bottom of his heart, didn't give a shit about double blind studies or whatever methods that were described in the textbooks. The terminology just obfuscated whatever it was they were trying to teach him, and the specifics tended to make him snore.

  
The more interesting experiments, for Felix, of course, were the ones that could not be replicated out of ethical concerns. The results of experiments like the Stanford Prison Experiment, among other things, were information that Felix had taken to heart.

 

What Felix did understand about research methodology, however, was the principle behind it. They taught him to always question whatever information he had just taken in, and from there, what to do with this inference.

 

Of course, he had always known a lot of things on a gut level. Knowing that on an instinctive level, however, was a wholly different thing than being armed with a specific sort of discipline. Felix suddenly felt so much more powerful when he realised, for the first time, that there were words describing what he had always known to be true. They allowed him to refine his ideas, to play with them, and, ultimately, to improve his already shrewd mind.

 

Of course, since he was human, he sometimes made mistakes. But he also knew what mistakes others were likely to make. He also knew what mistakes he were prone to making, and the risks involved in making them.

 

For instance, Felix's attraction to Wash hadn't been solely aesthetic or sexual. He had observed that the guy was generally easy-going and gullible. Statistics and social norms, too, worked in his favour; they were both East Asian, so cover stories could easily be made unless somebody was privy to the specifics of their actual ethnicities and backgrounds.

 

Wash was, also, the only one in their team that almost got into both logistics and officer school. While many from the team simply cruised by, Wash was also the only one who actually cared about his results, which meant that the latter had some sort of desire to achieve a certain amount of competency. Felix thought that it was possible that Wash was simply unlucky when he took those tests, but whatever the case, those were useful skills to have, especially in somebody on his side.

 

Felix didn't need somebody who could fight as well as he could. He needed somebody who could balance him. That Wash did so well turned out to be a blessing of sorts. Wash even became a good fighter, which was something Felix prided himself on, because he considered himself Wash's mentor.

 

Just because his initial approach was cynical, though, didn't mean that Felix didn't care about Wash. _He did._ If Wash hadn't been interesting, Felix would have probably tired of him long before he could make a soldier out of him. Then, they would have parted after the War was over. Felix would have been on his own, while Wash would have gone on to officer school. That was, if Felix didn't already kill him off during the War to get a new partner.

 

Felix knew what they had was incredibly rare. He had jobs that paid off better than he'd expected, but this was something else altogether. Wash fitted him so well, and neither of them wanted to bond. Wash was perfect for Felix.

 

Felix had known about Soulbonds since he was young.

 

Fairy tales told children of men and women meeting each other. The stories often followed a similar formula: the man and the woman were both fair, blond, and good-looking. Upon meeting each other, they felt something for each other. A series of obstacles would present themselves, but they would overcome those obstacles. Chance events would then reveal that they both had the same Soulbond Mark, so they then bonded to live happily ever after.

 

It was all a very obvious and formulaic _lie_.

 

A lie on a scale so massive that would have made the greatest dictators in history green with envy.

 

Seeing the state of his adopted family meant that Felix never believed in it. His adopted parents were bonded, but they weren't happy with each other. That was quite the understatement, of course. Felix didn't like to think about his family or his childhood much.

 

As he grew older, he realised that it had nothing to do with whoever he tended to lust after or felt a connection with. It didn't matter, though. He had always been so incredibly turned off by the romantic ideals of Soulbond that actually bonding with somebody would feel like a betrayal of his own principles. Not that he had many beyond self-preservation.

 

Felix had met people who only wanted to bond with other members of the opposite sex. He had also met people who didn't care what their potential partner was like. There were others who had built up a specific image of their Soulbond partner. Whatever the case, Felix knew that Soulbonds had nothing to do with expectations, even though society was rife with it.

 

Felix didn't believe in anything. That lack of belief meant that Felix was free to come up with whatever he wanted to believe. What the movies told him were different from what he saw in reality. He paid attention to the news, to people around him, and to himself. He looked for information from every available source that he could get his hands on.

 

In undergrad, Felix had sifted through hundreds of published articles about Soulbonds to find useful ones. He conducted his own research when he had the time to do so, making use of his university's database.

 

There was a wealth of information in academics that was simply unavailable to the general public, possibly because of a lack of interest thereof, and possibly because it simply didn't pay off to educate the public. Countless industries had, after all, sprung up around the myth of the Soulbond; from Soulbonding Agencies to Soulbond Counselling, many of questionable efficacy.

 

Felix knew two things for certain; these were things that the general public didn't know.  
  
The first was that True Soulbonds were incredibly rare, and the Marks often ran in the family. What stopped most family members from bonding with each other were social norms, because of the intimate aspect of bonding that often extended beyond familial ties. Even if family members were bonded, they tended to pretend that they didn't. Child Protection Services had protocols that they had to follow for taking away bonded children, who often suffered from other forms of abuse at the same time.

 

However, what this meant was that societal exultation of Soulbonds as the romantic consummation of two members of the opposite sex in physical terms was, quite frankly, an aberration.

 

Nature proved society wrong.

 

If Soulbonds were truly meant to be the end result – the bodily “seal” – of a romantic heterosexual relationship, then they would not run in the family at all, unless inbred children were the goal.

  
Felix believed that, like every other aspect of evolution, Soulbonds were simply a glitch in the human experience, meaningless on its own but given entirely too much weight in society.

 

The second was that Soulbonds created a physical reaction that was the same as emotional and physical addiction.

 

A Half-bond was less intense; people could be separated from one another successfully, given time and space. They had to stay away from each other, naturally, after withdrawal and recovery. All research about Half-bond separations tended to describe them in terms of substance addiction recovery, with the addition of other complications, such as battery, emotional abuse, and threats of violence, due to the fact that it involved separating from a human, not a substance.

 

Full-bonds between strangers were so rare that there were case studies at best. Either way, academic research suggested that a full Soulbond between strangers created such a strong addiction that these two people simply required each other to function; they had to keep in physical contact at least once every few hours. Without this, they would suffer from severe withdrawal symptoms, described as far more painful and intense than that of Half-bonds.

 

Since separation could only be successfully done by willing individuals, the cases that Felix had read about regarding the separation of Full-bonds involved suicides and attempted suicides. Many of those people thought that life with their partner was unbearable, but so, too, was life without their partner. There was no single case of successfully separated Full-bonds.

 

Felix had heard of myths and the like, but for the most part, there wasn't any scientific data, so he took them with a grain of salt. Whatever the case, he had developed an intense fear of ever getting bonded, whether in full or in half.

 

The pleasure that one gained from being bonded would eventually be outweighed by the consequences that one suffered from bonding. That was the conclusion that Felix had come to.

 

Still, even though Felix found himself quite incapable of romance and disgusted by the idea of Soulbonds, he was also incredibly fascinated by it. He would come up with scenarios in which people were bonded, like in a bad drama, and twist them around so that they would all be miserable.

 

Not a far fetch, since his inspiration was taken from real life. He could tell those stories to other people for hours on end, and they would walk away paranoid about Soulbonds for the rest of their lives.

 

More importantly, Felix simply loved the idea of romance, even though he could feel nothing like what people seemed to.

 

Felix had been told to engage in romantic gestures and behaviours all of his life, after all. He'd seen it in the movies. He'd watched heterosexual couples, who were fully sober, hold hands and make out in front of him in public. Sometimes, they even checked to see if he was looking.

 

“Kinky” straight people were so abundant and boring that he couldn't even get excited about them if he tried. It was always straight people. They were the majority, after all.

 

Every year, there were festivals dedicated to the Special One™.

 

Until Felix met Washington, he'd spent every single of those festivities alone. Luck had it that he usually broke up his short-term relationships before the holidays, anyway. Sometimes, he would spend them with whoever would entertain him.

 

He'd realised, of course, that happiness was possible without Bonding. He'd looked far and wide for couples that weren't Soulbonds, and, of course, found enough of them to realise that happiness was available for those who had met the right person but couldn't bond. However, the societal idealisation of Soul-bonding meant that these people often found their unions met with societal resistance; doubly so if they weren't straight.

 

Not that it mattered. From antiquity, people had children even if they weren't Bonded, and being Bonded didn't stop people from abusing their children.

 

Felix hadn't really given a shit about these people, either. Most of them were straight.

 

He _could_ lie about it if he wanted to fit in. After all, straight people loved to shove it in his face. So, he had to figure out some way to shove it back into theirs.

 

Flirting with women, and talking about banging other people's wives seemed to have that effect, so he rolled along with it, sometimes in explicit detail. It was _fun_. He wasn't stupid enough to think it was radical or anything to that effect; he did it because it was the societally sanctioned thing to do.

 

It wasn't the only thing Felix experimented with. When he was a teenager, he started to experiment with words. It was a fun idea to play with, and he hadn't started the habit of hooking up yet. It wasn't until much later that he realised there were plenty of people willing to have sex with him – many of them men, as well as women – without being in a relationship.

 

Felix told his partners that he simply didn't do Soulbonds, and gave them the impression that he was a hopeless romantic at the same time. Maybe they would think that he was romantically interested in them, and then he could have something akin to happiness derived from a romantic partner. Some of them bought it, and tried to convince him to bond. Some didn't care. Many just left without giving him tail.

 

So, young Felix got in relationships. He told them what they wanted to hear, and then ditched them when they wanted a Soulbond. It was like buying clothes and throwing them away once they got too old. Fun, but meaningless, and ultimately, fruitless. Maybe he got some chocolates, sex and random junk out of the deal, but nothing too fanciful.

 

Felix hadn't really lied when he looked at them in the eyes and said that he loved them, usually after they'd given him something nice. Love had many different meanings, after all.

 

Felix didn't think he truly loved anybody or anything. He didn't care about his “family” and had no desire to form a new one.

 

He knew, however, that different people met different needs, and whoever met most of his needs were the most special of them all. Only _those_ people should be protected, because his own well-being was founded on theirs.

 

What was love, but mere chemical reactions in the head? Who was to say that what _he_ felt wasn't love? Why _shouldn't_ he redefine everything so that he could have a full and happy life and, on top of that, reap the social rewards for fitting into some sort of arbitrary societal framework?

 

And so, he did.

 

Washington was, as usual, an exception to the norm. Felix had expected Wash to lose interest, time and time again. It was like Wash didn't do _feelings_ , or if he did, it didn't really matter so long as he had great sex.

 

Felix figured that he would have to lie his ass off and perhaps even engage in theatrics to get Washington interested in following him. That turned out to be unnecessary.

 

Felix hid his mark meticulously from Wash, even misdirecting him to think that it was on his hand. That, too, turned out to be unnecessary – Wash was just like himself: neither of them wanted to bond. In fact, he never asked to see it. Ever. Which was fortunate for both of them, because Felix's mark was elsewhere.

 

Felix wasn't sure if Wash loved him. He doubted that most people would, however, do so much for somebody they weren't romantically interested in.

 

Was Wash in love with him? Possibly. He had seen how Wash looked at him; even imitated it a few times so that Wash would think they were on the same page.

 

Was _he_ in love with Wash? Well, it depended on what love was.

 

For Felix, what he felt for Wash _was_ love.

 

The euphoria that being with Washington gave him meant, without a doubt, that he loved Washington. It didn't matter if it came from sex, the absence of doubt, or the control that he had in bed. He cared about Wash, after all, and their lives depended too much on one another. They had more than what many people had.

 

All of that, without Bonding. If it meant that he simply had to touch Wash here and there or comfort him when he was sad, then he would do precisely that.

 

Anything to keep Wash by his side.

 

His relationship with Wash was like a beautiful lullaby. When he closed his eyes, he could still feel the ache within his chest, from the loss of his friend. No friendship, no brotherhood, no lover could come so close to Felix as Wash had been. It was a beautiful dream that lasted for years, with all the beautiful memories in his mind, and _would have lasted the rest of their lives_ , until –

 

Until Felix was kidnapped by a “soldier” who forcibly bonded with him on command, because said “soldier” had thought himself invulnerable to Soulbonds.

 

Until Wash was murdered right in front of his eyes, all because somebody Felix didn't even know had an agenda against him.

 

Until, in a parody of their past in the Forest where Felix had shot Locus, Locus shot him in the head, and partially missed.

 

Felix didn't know when Locus had planned to kill him in order to get rid of the bond. Perhaps Locus had planned so from the start. Perhaps it was a part of the plan; he was a weak link, after all. Dead men told no tales. Felix, alive, was a liability.

 

There were plenty of things Felix didn't know, though he never gave up guessing. Felix always thought of himself like something of a phoenix; risen from the ashes, the power of life would always radiate from himself.

 

All he _did_ know, was that the other man had tried to shoot him, failed, and then brought him to the hospital.

  
*

 

As Felix opened his eyes again in the hospital, after being drugged and having his scalp sewn back together, Locus breathed a sigh of relief. He had planted himself firmly on the chair beside Felix's bed, sparing his attention only for the man before him.

 

“Fuck, I'm alive.” Felix mumbled. He looked at Locus, wondering why the other man looked relieved. “I thought you were really going to kill me. That'd have been nice, you know. At least I would have known that you didn't mess up something big for once in your life.”

 

Locus frowned. He had his hand wrapped against Felix's, but he pulled away angrily as soon as he heard Felix say that. He had not messed up. Everything had been planned, but he hadn't taken some things into consideration.

 

Namely, _feelings_.

 

And the fact that a Soulbond would awaken them inside him.

 

Felix looked tired, and his eyes were red, as he'd just woken up from being put under. He reached to touch the bandage, and, ignoring Locus' concerned look, fingered the wound.

 

Needless to say, it hurt. He flinched. “Jesus, they shaved the side of my head for this? _Fuck!_ ”

  
“They had to.” Locus replied. “Stop touching yourself like that.”

 

Felix raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Oh, I wouldn't have to touch myself if you're into hospital sex.”

 

“ _No_.”

 

“You're boring.” Felix looked around. The room was white, like every other hospital, with pastel and the occasional painting of a nondescript flower vase. His was the only bed in the room, and the furniture around him looked like they were well-made. “...I didn't think you'd bring me to such a nice place. Bet it must have been expensive.”

 

“It was.” Locus said. “We should leave soon.”

 

“Why, afraid that somebody is going to find us?” Felix laughed, barely able to hide the bitterness in his voice. “ _I'm_ the one that's been kidnapped, and _I'm_ not trying to escape. Though, I bet they charge an arm and a leg to do things off record... I'm surprised. You could have just dumped me here and left. They'd have registered my name and the next thing we know, they'll probably send me back, and I'll be in jail. Can't afford to have another war again after reconstruction efforts were made. They'd probably sentence me to death.”

 

“I'm not going to leave a trail.” Locus stated, shifting in his seat slightly.

 

“So, you're planning to leave with me? What for? So that you could appease your pathetic conscience? 'I took care of the poor dependent Felix, because boy, did I screw up shooting him.' Is that it?” Felix grinned even more widely when he saw Locus freeze. “I don't know how you could bond with me without my permission, fuck me in front of some old dude and my ex-partner, shoot my partner right in front of my eyes, and then suddenly turn around and feel bad about it.”

 

Locus stood up, pushing the seat aside violently as he did so. He walked over to the window and peeked through the blinds.

 

That didn't stop Felix from talking, throwing his hands in the air as he did so. “Really? Come on, say something.”

 

Locus said through gritted teeth, “Quiet, Felix. It was the past.”

 

“What's that, let bygones be bygones? After all that you've done to me, really?” Felix rolled his eyes. “You thought you were so much of a soldier that you could be impervious to Soulbonds? You don't even understand what you've done, do you?”

 

Locus looked at him, fire burning in his otherwise calm expression. “I do.”

 

“You regret it?”

 

“I... do.” Locus said, after a pause. Felix frowned and shrugged, prompting a second question from Locus. “Why don't you want to escape?”

 

“Oh, sure. I'll just go to Soulbonds Anonymous and tell them that I've got to recover from a full Soulbond. That'll help.”

 

“...Would that work?” There was a hint of hope in Locus' voice. A desperation.

 

“No.” Felix rolled his eyes. “You bonded because you didn't know shit about Soulbonds, did you?”

 

“I see. You knew that I couldn't kill you because of the Soulbond. That's why you weren't afraid.” Locus sounded calm again, stroking his chin as he analysed the situation. “What else do you know?”  
  
Felix didn't know that, and if he did, he would have taken that with a large grain of salt. In his research, he hadn't found anything that supported that idea. But, he wasn't about to let Locus think of shooting him again, either, especially since the fucker seemed to be quite incompetent about it. “More than you do. Why should I tell you anything? If we go back, I'm just going to be nothing but your fucktoy again.”

 

“I'm not in armour now, and I won't fight you. You can run away now.”

 

“Sure. With nothing but hospital clothes. Maybe somebody will take pity on me and give me a bagel, I don't know, while I'm on the streets or something. _That'd_ help.”

 

“I'll give you money.” Locus looked down at his hands.

 

“So? You seriously have no idea what you've done, do you?” Felix snorted. He leaned back against the pillow and closed his eyes. “No. Of course not. Why would you? You took my life and my lover away from me. It's nothing to you.”

 

“You killed my squad.”

 

“I was at least ordered to do so while I was conscripted. You know? Conscription, forced draft, don't have a choice there? Also, I didn't even know you guys weren't traitors. So lay off, alright, thank you very much?”

 

They both fell silent. Felix glared at Locus, huffing indignantly.

 

“The mission is over. You won't be a prisoner anymore.” When Locus spoke again, he looked like he had a headache. “I feel the bond as much as you do, Felix. It flows through my veins as much as it flows through yours.” The word “feel” came out of his mouth as if it was an unfamiliar word, foreign in his vocabulary.

 

Felix knew he had all the reason to continue being angry, but there was a certain possibility that just kept him from doing so. From the bottom of his heart, he truly wanted revenge – but there was something _else_ that he needed, and it was freedom. He hadn't had it in such a long time.

 

Being brought outside had startled him, but now that they were actually talking about things that reminded Felix of the outside world, he remembered what exactly he had been missing.

 

Felix murmured, “I won't leave or kill you, Locus. You're right. I need you.”

 

Locus, surprisingly, seemed to have taken it in a way that Felix hadn't expected. His expression was still relatively neutral, but he had an immensely expressive voice, deep and velvety without the distortion from the mic. “You would stay beside me willingly?”

 

Felix held back bitter laughter. None of it made any sense, but he supposed that Locus must have come to terms with the fact that dealing with Felix was kind of like dealing with a cockroach. Getting rid of him would be tough, and he would get in all the nooks and crannies and survive just about anything.

 

“I would, Locus.” Felix replied. He looked away at the wall, summoning all of his memories of Agent Washington. It made his eyes well up – he did truly like the man, and years of being together had created an emotional bond that couldn't just be erased. “But I can't just forgive you, not after all that you've done to Wash and I.”

 

Locus didn't respond.

  
Felix was starting to get irritated with how quiet Locus was. Most people would offer restitution. They would probably sweeten the deal and do something to compensate for their assholery. Perhaps they would even apologise, for real, if they actually really gave a shit about their own shortcomings. Heck, as far as Felix was concerned, Locus should be grovelling on the floor for doing something that most people would consider reprehensible and unforgivable.

 

...Not that Felix hadn't done worse, but that was irrelevant between them.

 

 _This moron_ , Felix thought, _is so out of touch with common decency._ The more they interacted, the more Felix was beginning to not see the point of doing so. “You know what? I thought you were starting to care about the shit you've done to me, but apparently not. Go jerk off to your own pride or whatever it is that makes you a 'soldier'. Whatever keeps your delusions flowing, am I right?”

 

Felix got up, punched the wall (it hurt his fist more than it hurt the wall), and opened the door. He was about to walk through it and slam it shut when Locus held him from behind.

 

“Don't go.” Locus said, quietly.

 

“Why?” Felix wanted to laugh. God, he really hated Locus.

 

“You have no money. It's not your home country. You probably don't even speak the language here, and you stand out too much. You have nowhere to go to, and nothing to defend yourself with. If they catch you, you will be repatriated and sentenced to death.” Locus stated, the speed with which his words poured out betraying his otherwise calm affect. “You just said that you needed me. Come with me.”

 

“Why should I come with you? How do I know you're not just going to lock me up and use me like a fucktoy or a touch dispenser? You don't even give a shit about what you've done. Why should I trust you?” Felix wanted to shake him off. He knew, however, that Locus was right. If Locus would concede, then he would probably take him up on his offer.

 

“...I do. I do 'give a shit'. I will arm you.” Locus said, slowly, “You will have freedom of movement.”

 

“You sure? I could kill you in your sleep.” Felix realised that he probably shouldn't say that, right after it came out of his mouth.

 

“You said earlier that you won't kill me. That you need me.” Locus replied, with a deep conviction. “You have been a mercenary, Felix. I will help you become one again. We could work together, like Agent Washington and yourself did.”

 

That was what Felix had been hoping to hear. He breathed in deeply, surprised that Locus would go this far without being asked. He did, however, think of something else. “If it's not at least fifty-fifty, I'm not agreeing. I don't care whose contacts they are.”

 

“It will be split equitably.”

 

Felix turned around and looked at Locus. He was starting to be glad that Locus had stopped him before he did something rash, because in hindsight, leaving was a bad idea.

 

He had, of course, the optimism and confidence that he could make it work if he really had to, but what they were arranging was so much more preferable than that. He had a chance now. He could get some semblance of his previous life back.

 

Felix reached below Locus' sleeve, to touch his bare arm. It was warm. Felix wanted to keep touching him forever, to press their bodies against each other until they were both subsumed in each other's presence. A small part of him said that it was the Soulbond, that it was a mere chemical reaction inside his head, nothing more. Yet, the touch alone was so soothing, so relaxing, that he truly didn't want to leave Locus' side, after all.

 

At least the Soulbond worked both ways.

 

Felix saw the bliss in Locus' eyes as well, and a certain dissatisfaction welled up from within again.

 

Locus didn't deserve to be happy.

 

Felix closed the door and pulled Locus into a full embrace this time, reaching to unbutton Locus' shirt as he did so. He leaned in to kiss Locus on his bare chest, sucking hard and leaving marks, wondering just how far Locus would let him go.

 

Felix wanted to dominate again. He wanted to take back control.

 

But more importantly...

 

He looked up at Locus and smiled sweetly. “Oh, and by the way? Seeing as you are the murderer of my ex-partner, I figured I might remind you that you are not worthy of even saying Wash's name. Just in case you forgot.”

 

Locus froze for a while, and his gaze turned dark once more. He limply pushed Felix aside and buttoned up, turning to face the window once more.

 

With Locus' back turned, Felix allowed himself to genuinely be happy. A fuzzy warmness filled his chest. He quickly turned away so that Locus couldn't see his expression, of course, but he felt like he was on top of the world again.

 

He had the power to hurt Locus now. He wasn't helpless anymore.

 

Nothing would bring his previous life back, but Felix thought that he really could live with this.

 

*

 

The way home was short, because Locus had already planned to fly themselves back from the hospital immediately back to their ship. Felix wanted to stay and look around a bit more, since there were so many new things to see. Things which he had not seen, since he had been in captivity, for weeks now.

 

“Locus. I want to take a look around this city a bit more. Locs?” Felix said.

 

“No.” Locus replied, authoritatively.

  
Felix pouted. He hated how Locus seemed to think himself in charge, despite the fact that he'd just claimed that the both of them were going to be partners. Still, he didn't want to go anywhere with his head just bandaged up, not on his own. He looked at Locus again, observing him as he piloted the ship. “You ever worked with a partner before?”

 

“I worked in a team, but that was long ago.” Locus replied. He turned around, frowning when he saw Felix standing so close. “Don't stand behind me like that.”

 

“Why? Are you afraid that I'll learn how to pilot this thing and then run off with it?” Felix growled, leaning even closer.

 

Locus stiffened, gritted his teeth, and continued to shift the controls. “I will teach you. Later.”

 

“Why later?” Felix squinted hard at Locus. He reached to touch the Kevlar bit beneath the helmet, rubbing his fingers on its smooth texture.

 

“Because.” Locus replied, inhaling sharply. “I don't like it when somebody gets too close when I am working.”

 

“I'm somebody, huh?” Felix chuckled. He was almost tempted to sit on that inviting lap and run his hands all over the armour, just to prove a point.

 

“Also, you should buckle up.”  
  
“Maybe I don't care.” Felix said. “Maybe annoying you is higher up on my priority list than my personal safety. Ever thought about that?”  
  
“Unfortunate.” Locus kept his eyes on the screen, but his movements were as stiff as ever.

 

“You say that a lot. Did you get your vocabulary from reading Austen novels or something?” Felix rested his chin on top of Locus' helmet. Truth be told, he was already getting distracted by being so close to his Soulbond and being unable to touch him. What did Locus need all that armour for, anyway? He was just piloting a Pelican. “You don't need that helmet or all that armour for this task. We're heading back, aren't we? Why don't you get comfortable? ...Ever gotten a blowjob while flying a Pelican?”

 

Locus sighed deeply, like he was dealing with a big annoyance. “No.”

 

Felix rolled his eyes. He thought he had this man all sorted out. That their agreement to be partners would at least lead to a more equitable relationship. Apparently not; Locus was still as much of a stick in the mud as ever.

 

He lost interest after getting no more responses from Locus, and headed back to his own seat. With his feet up on the dashboard, he looked at Locus in annoyance and made faces at him from the side.

 

“I can see what you're doing, Felix. Stop that.”

 

“So you're paying attention to me, after all?” Felix laughed. “Thought you were unflappable.”

 

“I am flying a vehicle, Felix. If you continue to be a distraction, I am going to remove you from your seat and ensure that you will be unable to.”

 

“Oh, look at Mr Kidnapper, all tough and assertive now.” Felix taunted. He closed his eyes for a bit, and peeked at Locus with one eye.

 

“The situation has changed. I am no longer your kidnapper. You are...” Locus breathed in again. “...free.”

 

“Free like a caged bird.” Felix mused. “You haven't done anything to reassure me of that, Locus.”

 

“What do you want?”

 

Felix thought about it for a moment. “I want armour. Weapons. Like what you have. None of the standard army stuff, the special ops stuff that you own. You've got that, don't you? Every single part is upgraded, isn't it?”

 

Even though Locus had his helmet on, he made a gesture like he wanted to pinch his nose bridge. “I still have your gear, Felix. You're getting your armour and weaponry back.”

 

“What about Wash's?” Felix asked, suddenly. “I want his armour back.”

 

“I returned it to the Director. It was a part of the deal.” Locus looked at Felix again. “...You don't need it. You will have yours.”

 

“Why? Afraid of the Director?” Felix laughed. “Where did you bury him?”  
  


Locus looked back at the screen. “...The Director has his body.”

 

Felix chewed on his lower lip and looked down for a moment. His stomach was starting to rumble – not from hunger. He knew what he wanted to do. What he had to do, in order to get closure. He said, seriously, “Locus. If we are going to be partners, I want Wash's armour and body back. And the Director dead.”

 

Locus let go of the controls for a moment, causing the Pelican to veer wildly off course. Felix fell off the chair, but was lucky that he hadn't hit anything before Locus got his hands back on the controls again.

 

“...You're scared.” Felix said, after a while. “You're afraid of him.”

 

“I am not. It is simply unwise. He is the Director of Project Freelancer, head of an international AI research program.” Locus stated matter-of-factly. “We can look to hire some technicians to help break into the facilities, but they likely have skilled agents who are even more well-equipped than we will be.”

 

“So. We need jobs. Time, and money.” Felix said. He stood up, went over to Locus, and sat on his lap.

 

“Yes. And you need to get back in form.” Locus said, ignoring Felix as the other man ran his hands all over his armour again.

 

“It's all your fault for locking me up...” Felix murmured under his breath, trying to undo the clasps near Locus' crotch. His hands were already shaking.

  
Locus turned the heat up, and prepared to land the Pelican in a deserted area. He was beginning to feel it, too, but Felix seemed to be a lot more susceptible to that unpleasant feeling than he was. And Felix, without exceptions, always made it sexual; it was as if he had come to associate the euphoria of being touched with orgasm.

 

Felix was already rutting against his armour by the time they were safely landed. He moaned loudly as he leaned against Locus, clawing at the Kevlar suit.

 

“Hey, Locs. Ever thought about fucking in a Pelican? How about on the controls? Let's mess it up.”

 

“Not on the controls.” Locus lifted Felix up and put him on the other seat so that he could get up. “I'm going to see if where we're landed is safe.”

 

“So...” Felix looked at the screen. “We're having sex in the forest, then?”

 

Locus said nothing. He did nothing to stop Felix as the other man followed him outside, and ran a quick scan of the surroundings using his helmet. “...It is safe here.”  
  


“Oh my god, I don't care.” Felix breathed in deeply. “Come on. Take off your armour. I need you like I need... Fuck, I don't know. I just do.”

 

Locus didn't waste a second as he shed his armour, beginning with his gloves. Felix had already taken off most of his clothes, too, tossing them onto the forest ground.

 

They looked at each other for a moment, and Felix laughed. “Keep the helmet on. Every time I see you, I just picture my balls on your face and it's just gonna crack me the fuck up.”

 

Locus couldn't feel Felix from beneath his undersuit, but Felix was already on his knees, unzipping Locus' suit where it mattered and removing the codpiece skillfully. It didn't take long before Locus' cock was exposed to the cold forest air. Felix licked his lips upon seeing that in natural forest light; he had never seen him outside before. It was almost artistic, the way the bluish hue made the dark pink head of Locus' cock look.

 

Felix palmed it appreciatively, looked up, and sneered as he saw Locus with his helmet still on.

 

“Dude, you look stupid like this, like you're going to topple over anytime soon. Lie down on the ground or something, I'll ride you.” Felix stood up, pushing at Locus roughly while the other man planted his bum on the floor. “Okay. Good.”

 

“I could have lifted you and...” Locus wasn't given a chance to finish when Felix straddled him.

 

“ _Nah_. Gotta get my calves in shape, am I right?” Felix breathed heavily as he reached for Locus' pouch. He fumbled around until he found what he was looking for; the all-purpose, standard issue anti-bacterial moisturiser that also functioned well as lubricant. He moaned softly as Locus reached to spread his butt cheeks, squeezing them tightly while Felix fingered himself. “I'm almost done, you... asshole... God, it's all your fault.”

 

Locus didn't seem to listen to him anymore; he continued kneading Felix's buttocks and then ran his hands up the smaller man's side. Felix's moans reverberated in the forest, and, almost as if in response, birds began to chirp.

 

Locus looked up again to check the surroundings with the scanner in his helmet, but Felix was already lowering himself onto his cock.

 

“Where are you looking at?” Felix murmured, eyes half-lidded. He licked his lips and let out a moan as he felt Locus' cocktip push past his entrance. “God... It always feels so good when I take you after a while. It's like...”

  
Locus took a quick glance around and turned off the scanner again.

 

*

 

He looked at Felix now, wondering what the other man was thinking when he rambled like that. Felix couldn't seem to keep his mouth shut, ever. He couldn't have chosen a worse person to be bonded to.

 

Locus reached up, rubbing his thumb on Felix's throat as he cupped his neck from the side. It would be so easy to just hold him still like that... Clench down, choke him. Thrust his hips upwards.

 

He broke out of his reverie as he realised that Felix had frozen in place, like he was anticipating the assault.

 

“Like what, Felix?” He asked.

 

“What?” Felix said, a half-laugh making his Adam's apple vibrate. Locus liked the feel of it under his thumb; it was almost fragile.

 

“What is it like to take me?” Locus wondered.

 

“Like an addiction being sated. Like an itch that you can't touch finally being scratched. There, happy?” Felix breathed in again. He closed his eyes, still waiting. His legs were starting to tremble, but aside from that, he was very still.

 

Locus obliged. He tightened his grip from the sides. It would be so easy to crush his windpipe like that, but he wasn't going to. They needed each other.

 

“I... don't want to do it with my helmet on.” Locus said, suddenly, letting go of the other man's neck.

 

Felix simply laughed more – an open, genuine laugh with yet another layer of irony and mockery – and tried to ride him. Locus flinched as the tight little body above him flexed and shifted, engulfing his cock with its – Felix's – warmth. Even so, with hands that were beginning to fumble and shake, Locus managed to lift his head, snap the clasps open, and remove his helmet, letting it roll a little on the ground beside him as he watched the other man, so lost in the coital pleasures, move his nubile body against his own armoured one.

 

When Felix opened his eyes again, their gazes met. They looked at each other for a long moment, and Felix licked his lips while Locus swallowed the spit that was starting to build up in his throat. The smaller man gave the larger one a quick smile and rested his hands on his knees, trying to keep balance.

 

Their eyes lingered on each other's faces, even as they looked away. Locus bit down on his lower lip, thrusting his hips upwards as he helped hold onto Felix's waist, keeping him in balance should the trembling, shivery man fall off. Felix said nothing more; he smiled and moaned, eyes glazed over from the sheer loss of self control – the loss of his ego.

 

Felix really did have a very nice face. Locus watched, enraptured, as his cheeks flushed a bright shade of red, and those shapely, sinful lips reddened, glistening with wetness. He never allowed himself to wonder why, even as he had recorded his diary entries, and deleted them, but the marvel which overcame him made him feel a certain, dull ache in his chest.

 

Felix hated him, and he had a good reason to do so. Still, bright and beautiful as the sun, Felix's being seemed to subsume everything else in its radiance; even the patches of light that fell through the shade from the trees around them.

 

Felix shuddered for the last time and came, spilling his precious seed over Locus' suit. He whimpered, trying to climb off the other man with his weakened body, drained of vital strength. Seeing him like this, Locus held him down – he held him and kept going, until drool dripped from Felix's sharp, delicate chin.

  
“Locs! Stop! I can't...” The smaller man's voice hitched into a delicate, keening pitch.

 

Locus continued to hold him down. He went still then, for a while. It was as if his entire being – his entire soul – had poured into the other man.

 

He let Felix go then, watching as Felix climbed off him with trembling limbs.

 

“We have to go,” Locus stated, regretfully. “Somebody might come by. They could find us like this, and murder us.”

 

Felix chuckled, and spun Locus' pistol around in his hand. “Let them come.”

 

Eyes wide with shock, Locus froze.

 

Felix shrugged, laying the gun down.

 

“ _Relax_. I'm just saying I've got this.” Felix whispered, eyelashes fluttering as his eyes closed and he moved in for a sweet, gluey kiss. “Shooting you won't do shit now.”

  
Choosing to bond with him in that way was a mistake, but as Locus let his ungloved hands run over Felix's thin frame, he was certain of one thing: no matter what, the soulbond itself was _not_ a mistake.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> On a serious note, I'm going to stop writing here not because of a lack of interest, but because I have a few other ongoing projects atm and I don't think there's much interest for this series after the success of the now deleted original. The whole idea was to expand on a soulbond fic in the way that most people tend not to, and was also a writing experiment and a bit of a challenge.
> 
> I know this part is a little incomplete (I'd planned to end it somewhere else).
> 
> If you, as a reader, are interested in reading more, and would like this series to continue, what you can do is to comment on the individual fics of this series with a) aspects of the fic that you liked/disliked, b) themes or relationships that you feel are left unresolved and would like to see more of.


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